Having trouble closing that major gift? Ask why three times.
A simple trick to build better connections with potential major donors.
A major gift officer was stuck with a donor she’d been meeting with for three years. Despite building a relationship and regularly communicating, he hadn’t committed to any gift. She was frustrated and wondered if she was wasting her time.
She had done everything she thought was right—getting to know his family, meeting quarterly, sending monthly newsletters, and handwriting birthday cards. But her last ask—requesting a $2 million seed gift for a foster youth resource program—made him end the meeting abruptly and practically push her out the door. Confused and unsure of what went wrong, she questioned all her efforts over the past three years.
I couldn’t help her with what had happened over the three years, but I made a suggestion.
ASK WHY THREE TIMES. (OR FOUR OR FIVE TIMES.)
Her response? “BUT MARK! I’ve been meeting with him for years. I know why he’s interested. Both his kids graduated from the college.”
My response? “I doubt that or you wouldn’t be so frustrated. I don’t care why he’s interested in the college. I want to know what would motivate him to consider making a significant gift to it. Why has he been meeting with you for three years?”
We role-played.
MGO: Mark, what about our school grabs your attention? (WHY #1.)
Mark: My son and daughter both went there and enjoyed it.
MGO: Is that why you’ve regularly given $5,000 a year to our scholarship program? (WHY #2.)
Mark: No, that was my late wife’s idea. She was so proud of both those kids. Neither me or my wife went to college.
MGO (with a light bulb forming over her head): What would your wife think about ensuring that a particular type of student, who most likely never thought they’d get to college, had resources that students with nuclear families would normally take for granted? (WHY #3.)
Mark: She’d be all over that. She’d love the idea of helping qualified students achieve something life changing.
MGO: Do you think she’d be happy attaching her name to the program? We can do it in her memory.
Mark: Really? I don’t want to draw attention to myself, but it’d make me happy to honor her.
The “Why” questions probably won’t be this straightforward, and you might need a few meetings to get to the core of things. But the idea is to keep digging until you uncover what really motivates someone to act.